Conversations That Matter
Words and ways of listening for fears, wishes, memories, and the relationship you share.
Some things are hard to begin saying. Others emerge while you sit together or talk about an ordinary day. This course offers words you can adapt for fears, care wishes, memories, family disagreements, and goodbye. It follows the relationship you actually share, with respect for privacy, complicated histories, and conversations that remain unfinished.
Or get all five family caregiver courses for $99.
- Self-paced
- 6 modules
- 18 lessons
- 5 printable resources
- Lifetime access
This course may help if you’re thinking…
- “I don’t know how to begin.”
- “They’re frightened, and I don’t know what to say.”
- “There are things I want to say, or a difficult history between us.”
- “Our family keeps disagreeing.”
You can begin with the question that brought you here. Each lesson offers an explanation, an everyday example, and possibilities to consider within your own circumstances. Read what helps today and return when another need arises.
Practical help you’ll find here
- Find opening words and listening responses you can adapt to the way you already speak together.
- Explore fears, memories, care wishes, and goodbye while respecting energy, privacy, and permission to pause.
- Prepare for family discussions and keep wishes clear, with boundaries around complicated or painful histories.
Let them tell you what would help
“Would you like ideas, practical help, or just company?”
A caring response can begin by asking what kind of support is wanted. The course offers questions and examples you can make your own, with space for silence, humor, and a change of subject.
Six modules, at your own pace
The lessons explain the topic in plain language, then explore how it can look in everyday life. Each includes an imagined example, drawn from situations caregivers commonly describe, with room to consider what fits your own life. Open a module to see its lessons.
1Opening the Door to ConversationBegin with the relationship you share and let the conversation unfold gently.
- When the conversation feels bigger than the words
- Listening so your loved one feels heard
- Finding a gentle beginning
2Talking About Dying and FearMake space for questions, uncertainty, hope, and difficult feelings.
- Talking about dying when your loved one wants to
- When fears are spoken aloud
- Making room for silence, emotion, and humor
3Wishes, Values, and ChoicesLearn what matters to your loved one and help their wishes be heard.
- Discovering what matters most now
- Talking about care wishes and decisions
- When wishes differ or change
4Love, Memories, and Unfinished ThingsShare gratitude and stories while caring for complicated histories.
- Love, gratitude, and the words we carry
- Unfinished business and complicated histories
- Stories, memories, and what deserves to be carried forward
5When Family Conversations Are DifficultNavigate differing opinions while keeping your loved one’s voice central.
- When family members see things differently
- Having a family conversation with care
- Making sure your loved one’s voice is heard
6The Words and Moments We CarryFind meaning in quiet connection, goodbyes, and memories worth keeping.
- Conversations when energy and words are limited
- Saying goodbye in a way that feels true
- Carrying meaningful conversations forward
Tools you can keep close
A main companion brings practical ideas together, with four supporting resources for notes, preferences, contacts, or shared plans. Use the parts that help, then print or save what you want to keep nearby. Share relevant information with the people involved in care, with your loved one’s permission.
What to Say: A Gentle Conversation Companion
Simple words, thoughtful questions, and room for your loved one to lead.
Conversation Starters to Keep Close
Invitations you can adapt to the relationship you share.
Wishes & What Matters Worksheet
Keep the words and preferences your loved one has chosen to share.
Family Conversation & Shared Understanding
A place to organize practical communication with loved ones.
Words, Memories & Moments to Carry
Remember the ordinary details and meaningful words that matter to you.
Here whenever you need it
- After purchase, follow the instructions to create your IEOLCA account and open your course.
- Read on your phone, tablet, or computer, a few minutes at a time.
- Use the writing spaces to gather your thoughts, prepare questions, or record something worth remembering.
- Go in the order that helps you, with lifetime access to return as things change.
A gentle note: this course offers educational support for families. Please follow your loved one’s care plan and contact their care team with questions about symptoms, medication, or changes in their condition. In an emergency, follow the agreed emergency plan or call local emergency services.
Find words that feel like yours
You may be hoping to ask about a wish, share a memory, or find a way into a difficult subject. Gather words you can adapt and ways to listen, with room for quiet, complicated relationships, and whatever your loved one feels ready to share.
Self-paced · 6 modules · Printable resources · Lifetime access
All five courses, together
You may want help with different questions as things change. The collection brings together all five topics, so you can return to comfort, conversations, the final days, or your own needs whenever they come into focus.
- Caring for Someone Who Is Dying
- When Death Is Near
- Creating Comfort at the End of Life
- Conversations That Matter
- Caring for Yourself While Caring for Another
Other courses that may help
Creating Comfort at the End of Life
Small, practical ways to help someone feel settled and known.
Caring for Yourself While Caring for Another
Rest, help, and boundaries for the person doing the caring.
Questions about this course
Who is this course for?
These courses are for you if you are caring for someone who is dying: a partner, relative, friend, or someone important in your life. You may be at home, visiting a hospital or care setting, or helping from a distance. You can begin with the experience and questions you have today.
Is this medical advice?
The course offers everyday guidance and questions to bring to your loved one’s care team. Their clinicians provide individualized advice about symptoms, medication, and changes in condition. The examples help you prepare for those conversations and follow the guidance you receive.
How does the course work?
After purchase, follow the instructions to create your IEOLCA student account and open the course in your web browser. Read on your phone, tablet, or computer, in the order that fits your needs. The writing spaces help you gather your thoughts, and the resources can be printed or saved as a PDF.
Can I print the worksheets?
Yes. Each course includes five fillable resources you can print or save as a PDF, so you can keep them close or share them with family and the care team.
How should I use the reflections?
Use the questions in the way that helps today: think about one, write a few words, or take an idea into your day. You can return to the course as your questions change.
How long do I have access?
You have lifetime access, so you can return to the course whenever you need it.
Can I get all five family caregiver courses together?
Yes. All five courses are available together for $99 USD, instead of $145 when bought one at a time.
Is this training to become a death doula?
This is a course for your own caregiving situation. It draws on the attentive, person-centered approach we teach end-of-life doulas, and offers everyday ways to support the person you care for. It does not provide professional doula certification.
Something else on your mind? Email office@ieolca.org.
Support for the days you’re living through
If this course speaks to what you’re facing, you can begin with the lesson or resource that feels most useful. There is room to read slowly, leave a question open, and return.